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Writer's picturePam Thomson

Meditation doesn't work

Meditation doesn't work, that is what I used to think.


In a world brimming with stress, chaos, and constant demands, finding a moment of peace can feel like an elusive dream. I was sceptical about the effectiveness of meditation and mindfulness. However, as life presented its share of challenges and pressures, I found myself re-evaluating my stance. Little did I know that delving into the realm of mindfulness would transform my perception and offer remarkable benefits to my mental health.


My Initial Scepticism

When I first heard about meditation and mindfulness, I carried with me a set of preconceived notions. I believed it was nothing more than a passing trend, a New Age fad that promised empty promises of inner peace. I was sceptical about how sitting quietly and focusing on my breath could actually have any impact on my mental health. It seemed too simple, too good to be true.


As a woman over 40, I faced my fair share of challenges. The demands of work, family responsibilities, and societal expectations seemed to intensify with age. I was constantly juggling multiple roles and struggling to find a balance between them. The stress, anxiety, and self-doubt that accompanied these challenges often took a toll on my mental well-being.


I dismissed meditation as a passing trend because I associated it with the stereotypical image of monks sitting cross-legged on mountaintops. I couldn't relate to that image, nor did I believe that such practices could have any relevance to my busy, modern life. I was accustomed to seeking quick fixes and instant gratification, dismissing anything that required time and effort as impractical.


One of the main reasons for my scepticism was the belief that I simply didn't have the time for self-care. Being pulled in different directions, it felt selfish to allocate precious moments to something as seemingly intangible as meditation. I often put the needs of others before my own, neglecting the importance of nurturing my own mental and emotional well-being.


Awakening to the Power of Mindfulness

It took a significant life event for me to re-evaluate my scepticism and give mindfulness a chance. Hitting rock bottom made me realise that the methods I had been relying on, comfort eating and alcohol, to cope with stress and anxiety were not sustainable. I knew I needed to find a different approach, something that could offer genuine and lasting relief.


In my search for a solution, I decided to explore mindfulness practices. I’ve recently completed an accreditation Holistic course with The Coaching Masters and discovered various mindfulness techniques such as breath awareness, body scans, and loving-kindness meditation. Gradually, I’ve begun incorporating these practices into my daily routine, initially for short periods of time.


As I’ve continued to practise mindfulness, I’ve realised that its essence lies in the art of being present. Rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, I’ve learned to fully embrace the present moment. This shift in perspective has allowed me to let go of regrets, fears, and anxieties, and focus on what was happening right here, right now.


Mindfulness has taught me the importance of self-acceptance and self-compassion. Instead of judging myself harshly for my perceived shortcomings, I now approach myself with kindness and understanding. Mindfulness practices encourage me to acknowledge and accept my emotions, thoughts, and experiences without judgement, fostering a sense of inner peace and self-worth.


Benefits of Mindfulness for Women Over 40

One of the most significant benefits of mindfulness for women over 40 is its ability to reduce stress and anxiety. By training our minds to focus on the present moment, we can break free from the cycle of rumination and worry. Mindfulness practices help us cultivate a sense of calm and equanimity, enabling us to navigate life's challenges with greater resilience and clarity. Through techniques like deep breathing, body scans, and mindful movement, we can learn to regulate our stress response and bring a sense of tranquillity into our daily lives.


Mindfulness allows us to develop a deeper understanding of our emotions and cultivate emotional well-being. By observing our thoughts and feelings without judgement, we become more attuned to our inner world. This self-awareness helps us recognise and address negative patterns, fostering emotional resilience and providing us with tools to respond to difficult emotions with greater compassion and kindness.


As women over 40, we often face significant life transitions such as career changes, empty nest syndrome, or dealing with ageing parents. Mindfulness practices equip us with the skills to adapt to these changes with grace and resilience. By cultivating a flexible mindset and a non-judgmental attitude, we develop the capacity to navigate transitions and challenges with greater ease, embracing the opportunities for growth and self-discovery that they bring.

Mindfulness enhances our ability to connect authentically with others, strengthening our relationships. By practising active listening and being fully present with our loved ones, we cultivate deeper connections and foster a greater sense of empathy and understanding. Mindfulness also helps us become aware of our own emotional triggers, allowing us to respond to others with patience, compassion, and effective communication.


Ageing often brings concerns about cognitive decline and memory loss. However, mindfulness has been shown to boost cognitive abilities and improve memory function. By training our minds to focus and sustain attention, we enhance our cognitive flexibility, decision-making skills, and information processing. Regular mindfulness practice has also been linked to an increase in grey matter in brain regions associated with learning and memory.


Mindfulness is not solely focused on mental well-being; it also positively impacts our physical health. By reducing stress and anxiety, mindfulness practices contribute to better cardiovascular health, improved immune function, and reduced inflammation. Additionally, mindfulness encourages us to listen to our bodies, fostering a deeper connection between our minds and physical sensations. This awareness helps us make healthier choices, such as mindful eating and engaging in regular physical activity.


Mindfulness is a powerful tool for personal growth and self-awareness, particularly for women over 40 who may be seeking deeper meaning and fulfilment in their lives. Through mindfulness practices, we gain insight into our values, passions, and aspirations. We become more attuned to our authentic selves, allowing us to make intentional choices and align our actions with our true desires. Mindfulness empowers us to embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal transformation.


Incorporating Mindfulness into Daily Life

Incorporating mindfulness into daily life doesn't have to be overwhelming. Start small by setting aside just a few minutes each day for mindfulness exercises. Choose a quiet space where you can sit comfortably, and begin with simple practices like focusing on your breath or observing your surroundings with curiosity. Gradually increase the duration and complexity of your practice as you become more comfortable.


There are numerous mindfulness techniques to explore, and it's important to find the ones that resonate with you. Some individuals find seated meditation most effective, while others prefer incorporating mindfulness into activities like walking, yoga, or engaging in creative pursuits. Experiment with different techniques and observe how they make you feel. Trust your intuition and choose practices that bring you a sense of calm, presence, and joy.


It's natural to encounter challenges when establishing a mindfulness practice, especially as a woman over 40 with a busy life. Common obstacles include finding time, staying consistent, and dealing with distractions. To overcome these challenges, consider integrating mindfulness into your existing routine. For example, practice mindfulness while doing household chores or during your daily commute. Set realistic goals and be gentle with yourself if you miss a session. Remember, it's about progress, not perfection.


My journey from scepticism to embracing the power of mindfulness has been transformative, particularly as a woman over 40. The benefits of mindfulness for mental health are undeniable. By reducing stress, enhancing emotional well-being, cultivating resilience, strengthening relationships, boosting cognitive abilities, nurturing physical health, and empowering personal growth, mindfulness offers a holistic approach to mental well-being.


Incorporating mindfulness into daily life may initially seem challenging, but with commitment and patience, it becomes a natural and rewarding part of our routine. By embracing mindfulness, women over 40 can discover a renewed sense of balance, purpose, and inner peace.


So, I invite you to embark on your own mindfulness journey. Explore different practices, be open to the possibilities, and give yourself permission to prioritise your mental health. As a woman over 40, you have the power to cultivate mindfulness and unlock the immense benefits it holds. Embrace the present moment, and let mindfulness guide you towards a fulfilling and joyful life.


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